My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have been focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning and use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation E.g. semicolons, colons and parentheses.

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green, represents where I have shown my punctuation and vocabulary goal.
                                       Here is my story:

Long ago, there lived a yoga in a humongous castle known as the Grand Cascade. He was friendly and very caring to others. But others didn't think so. 200 years ago, the yoga got locked up in a rusty old dungeon. The guards in shiny armor would hover in front of the dungeon giving the yoga very unpleasant company. All he could snack on was mouldy cheese of the dirty, stone ground and muddy grass if he wished. No one would find him and would be a miserable place to be.

The dungeon was buried deep down under the castle with slippery staircases to stop the visitors from above. As they tumble down, step by step, stretchy vines would twine them up into the dirty ceiling, sucked inside with no way out suffering minute by minute. Although, the stretchy vines will recognize the guards and will not attack them in any way.

Later in the afternoon, while the yoga was still locked up beneath the castle, the guards will have their lunch, and will let the yoga find his own in the slimy dungeon, full of mould. Suddenly, a  small visitor passed by the castle. She knocked reasonably hard onto the wooden door with comfort.

“I, am seeking for, a YOGA!” Exclaimed the visitor with ANGER.

“We don’t have any yogas.” answered one of the guards.” Now would you excuse me, I’ve got better things to do.

The guards slammed the door closed and headed back into the Grand Cascade. Then, they ran quickly down stairs and took the secret elevator deep down into the dungeon, where the yoga was locked up. But why did he get locked up in the first place? Well, long ago there was a legend called THE YOGA WHO KILLED CHILDREN. Many adults BELIEVED in that legend and will do whatever they can do to keep their child safe. They say, that the yoga would demolish anything that was in their path and gobble it all up like never before. But really, they NEVER do that. And I mean NEVER.

So, Queen Amanda sent out the guards to CAPTURE the yoga and go after it to protect the world. Everyone thought, he was mean, and nasty. He was the only yoga around. Yogas can live very long and never grow old.

So in the present now, the NASTY, or kind, yoga has been locked up at the famous, Grand Cascade. Luckily, an 8 year old girl, found out about the NICE yoga and has decided to free him out, on her own. She stumbled across lakes and rocks, and deserts and deserts to get to Grand Cascade. After all that, she was really proud of herself. She dug her way in for hours and hours to reach the bottom of the Grand Cascade.

"Out you go" whispered the little girl with excitement.

"Thanks" replied the yoga. "All I wanted was a family" whispered the yoga.

Once they're back up, this little girl has planned something VERY special." We are family," she said " together." " thanks" replied the yoga.

That little girl, was actually very poor as well. She has done something completely new and would consider that, a random act of KINDNESS." All we could hope for, is to not get captured again." Mumbled the yoga.